When most people think about planning a funeral, they picture that difficult moment after a loss. But more and more families are realizing how valuable it can be to have those conversations before the time of need—calmly, thoughtfully, and with the guidance of professionals who do this every day.
At Hoy Funeral Home, that’s where licensed funeral directors like Christy Sharkey and Timothy Grant come in.
Who We Are: The Faces Behind the Arrangements
“My name is Christy Sharkey. I’m one of the licensed funeral directors at Hoy Funeral Home,” Christy explains. “I’ve been with our company for ten years now. Timothy Grant has been with us for almost 17 years. We’re both licensed funeral directors.”
That might sound like a simple job title, but in reality, funeral directors wear many hats—especially at a full-service funeral home.
What a Licensed Funeral Director Really Does
In some states or at some locations, when you sit down to prearrange a funeral, you may not be meeting with a licensed director at all. It’s not always required.
At Hoy Funeral Home, it’s different.
When you meet with Christy or Tim, you’re sitting down with someone who can:
- Guide you through pre-planning your funeral arrangements
- Meet with your family at the time of need when a loved one passes away
- Oversee and perform the care of your loved one in the preparation room
That preparation includes key steps like:
- Embalming
- Dressing
- Casketing
- Coordinating all the details that make a viewing or service feel respectful and personal
“We do it all,” Christy shares. From the first conversation to the final goodbye, the same team that helps you pre-plan is often the same team walking alongside your family when the time comes. That continuity is deeply comforting for many families.
What Pre-Planning Isn’t: Just Buying a Cemetery Plot
One of the biggest misconceptions Christy and Tim hear is:
“Oh, I’ve already prearranged my funeral—I bought my cemetery plot.”
Owning a cemetery plot is important, but it’s not the same thing as prearranging your funeral.
A burial space is just one part of the overall picture. True pre-planning involves many more details, such as:
- Do you prefer burial or cremation?
- What kind of service would you like—traditional, religious, non-religious, or a celebration of life?
- Where should the service take place—at the funeral home, a place of worship, or another meaningful location?
- Who should be notified or involved?
- Are there music, readings, or traditions that matter to you?
- Do you have preferences for visitation, viewing, or gathering time for family and friends?
- How should your remains, urn, or casket be handled or displayed?
All of these decisions—and many more—are what truly make up a prearranged funeral. Simply having a grave does not answer any of those questions.
Why Sitting Down Matters
When it’s time to have a real conversation about your wishes, you’re not left to figure it out alone.
“As funeral directors, we’re here to sit down with you and talk through everything,” Christy says. That’s when Tim steps in with his background in prearranging to explain:
- What options are available
- What decisions can be made now
- How those decisions can ease the burden on your family later
You’re not expected to come in knowing all the right questions. The role of a funeral director is to guide you, explain your choices, and document your preferences so that, when the day comes, your family is not left guessing.
The Heart of Pre-Planning: Peace of Mind
Pre-planning isn’t about being morbid or “planning for the worst.” It’s about:
- Taking control of your own wishes
- Sparing your loved ones from having to make difficult decisions in the middle of grief
- Ensuring your arrangements reflect who you are, what you value, and how you want to be remembered
For Christy and Tim, it’s not just a job—it’s a calling. They walk families through every step, from the practical details to the emotional ones, with the goal of making a hard time just a little bit easier.
If you’ve been thinking, “Well, I have my cemetery plot, so I’m all set,” this is your sign that there’s more to the story. The next step is simply a conversation—sitting down with a licensed funeral director who can help you turn vague ideas into a clear, thoughtful plan.
And as Christy says, “That’s where Tim comes in to give you a little background on prearranging” — and where your peace of mind truly begins.
Pre Funeral Planning
Pre-planning a funeral isn’t something most people are excited to think about—but it is one of the most thoughtful gifts you can give your family. Instead of leaving your loved ones to guess what you would have wanted in the middle of their grief, you can make those decisions ahead of time, in a calm, no-pressure setting.
Here’s what that process really looks like, and why it can make such a big difference.
What Happens When You Pre-Plan?
When you sit down to pre-plan, you’re meeting with a funeral director to talk through your wishes from A to Z.
For some people, those wishes are very simple:
- “No services, just bury my body.”
- “I want to be cremated with no viewing or visitation.”
For others, the plans are more detailed:
- A traditional wake and funeral mass
- A two- or three-day visitation schedule
- Specific music, readings, or religious customs
- Particular clothing, casket style, or flowers
There’s no “right” way to do it—it’s entirely based on what you envision for your funeral.
The meeting itself is no-pressure. Most families come in with at least a general sense of what they want. The funeral director’s job is to walk through each decision with you, explain your options, and document everything clearly.
Sometimes that takes:
- One longer visit (an hour or two), or
- Several shorter meetings over a few days if there are more details to cover
Once you’ve talked through everything, the funeral home creates a file in your name. That file becomes the roadmap for your future arrangements.
When the time comes, your family doesn’t have to go digging for information or argue about what you “might have wanted.” The funeral home simply pulls your file and says:
“This is what mom, dad, or your loved one planned for.”
That clarity is the heart of pre-planning: no guessing, no confusion, and far less stress for the people you love.
What Happens If You Don’t Pre-Plan?
If no pre-arrangements are in place, your family will typically sit down with a funeral director at the time of need—often just a day or two after a death.
In that situation, the arrangement conference usually takes two to three hours, sometimes longer. And it’s happening at a time when emotions are high and grief is fresh.
During that meeting, the funeral director has to ask the family questions like:
- Did your loved one want burial or cremation?
- What would they want to wear?
- Do you know their Social Security number?
- What are their parents’ names (including the mother’s maiden name)?
- What type of service do you want?
- Do you want flowers, prayer cards, or memorial items?
Many adult children don’t know all of this off the top of their heads. They might not be sure whether mom wanted cremation. They may not know their grandparents’ full names or how to spell a maiden name. Meanwhile, they’re also trying to notify relatives, manage work and travel logistics, and process their loss.
When these details are pre-planned, all of that work is already done. Your family can spend more time being together, and less time trying to answer questions in a funeral office.
Cremation, Traditional Services, and Cost
One topic that comes up frequently in pre-planning conversations is cost, especially around cremation versus traditional burial.
Cremation has become more popular in recent years, and many people assume it’s always cheaper. That’s not necessarily true—it depends on what you choose to do around the cremation.
For example:
- A simple cremation with no services might fall in the $3,000 range.
- A traditional funeral with visitation (“wakes”), a casket, vault at the cemetery, church fees, and flowers can be closer to $10,000 or more, depending on how elaborate the arrangements are.
There’s no fixed price because everything depends on:
- The type of service (or lack of service)
- The choice of casket or urn
- Burial versus cremation
- Cemetery, church, and other third-party fees
- Extras, like flowers and printed materials
Pre-planning doesn’t lock you into a one-size-fits-all package—it allows you to build the kind of goodbye that fits your wishes and your budget.
How Funding and New York State PrePlan Work
If you decide to fund your pre-arrangements, the money doesn’t simply sit with the funeral home.
In New York State, funded pre-arrangements are typically handled through New York State PrePlan, a regulated program that holds the funds in trust.
That means:
- The money does not belong to the funeral home.
- The funeral home can only access the funds after you pass away, and only by providing a death certificate to PrePlan.
- The funds are earmarked to pay for your funeral arrangements as you planned them.
This structure provides protection and peace of mind. You know the money is being held properly, and the funeral home only receives it when they actually provide the services.
Can Your Family Use a Different Funeral Home?
Yes.
If you prearrange and fund with one funeral home but, at the time of need:
- Your children would rather use another funeral home, or
- You’ve moved out of state, or
- Your family simply chooses a different provider
The funds can be transferred. Another funeral home can access the PrePlan funds with a death certificate, just as the original funeral home would have.
In addition, some funeral homes are part of larger networks. In this case, the funeral home is part of a corporation (SCI) under the Dignity Memorial umbrella, which includes roughly 2,000 funeral homes across the United States. If you move or your family prefers a different location within that network, they can often honor and guarantee your pricing with another provider.
The bottom line:
Pre-planning with one funeral home doesn’t “trap” your family. It creates a clear, funded plan that can still be honored—even if life circumstances change.
Pre-Planning: A Gift of Clarity and Comfort
At its core, pre-planning is simple:
- You sit down in a calm, low-pressure setting.
- You talk through your wishes, from the most basic to the most detailed.
- The funeral home creates a file and, if you choose, helps you fund those plans through a regulated program.
Then, when the day comes, your family doesn’t have to guess, argue, or scramble. They don’t have to spend hours answering questions while they’re grieving. Instead, they can lean on the plan you thoughtfully put in place—and focus on supporting each other.
Pre-planning isn’t just about logistics and paperwork. It’s about kindness, clarity, and leaving one less burden for the people you love most.